Most Guys Miss This - It's Why They Relapse
If you fail to plan, you plan to fail. You’ve heard it a million times, but when it comes to recovering from a pornography addiction, its true..
This post is based on a session I had recently with a client who experienced a three-day relapse. We mapped it out step by step, and what we found was simple—but powerful: he didn’t have a plan. Without a clear relapse prevention plan it’s like trying to find your way through a cave without a light.
Why You Need a Relapse Prevention Plan (RPP)
Relapse isn’t random. It’s the result of a series of choices, triggers, blind spots, and emotional pain. If you don’t have a plan in place that addresses these, you’ll keep fighting and losing the same battle.
An RPP is your map. It’s how you stay connect when the urges hit and your get triggered. If you know what your common triggers are, you can build good habits, accountability and take action before things spiral.
A Real-Life Example: The 3-Day Relapse Cycle
Here’s what this client's timeline looked like:
Day 1
Regular workday. He encounters a triggering image on YouTube using a work device.
That device doesn’t have any accountability software installed.
No check-in. No flag raised. He takes the device home. Mistake #1
Day 2
It's a holiday. He’s home alone. Nothing to do. Unstructured time.
He binges. Multiple incidents. No one knows. Still hasn’t checked in.
Shame creeps in, isolation increases. Cycle deepens.
Day 3
He returns to work, brings the same device, gets triggered again.
This time, he finally checks in with his accountability partner.
But it’s too late. The damage is done. And it could have been avoided.
The problem wasn’t just the behavior—it was the lack of a plan.
The Cost of Silence
This is where most guys fall. They get hit with temptation, but they don’t reach out. They tell themselves, "It’s not that bad," or "I’ll check in if it gets worse." By the time they admit there’s a problem, they’re already halfway down the spiral and by then, it’s too late.
The check-in should have happened on Day 1. That’s when things could have shifted. That’s when support could have cut the spiral short. But if you don’t have a plan in place, and if you haven’t identified your blind spots (like an unchecked device), you’ll keep making the same mistake.
What Triggers You?
This is a key part of your relapse prevention plan: knowing your triggers.
Some common ones include:
Unstructured time
Being home alone
Boredom
Unrestricted device access
Shame, guilt, or emotional numbness
You’ve got to be honest with yourself about what lights the fuse. Then build a response plan. And that plan must include preemptive check-ins—before anything goes down.
How to Build Your Own RPP
Five steps to get started:
Identify your common triggers. Use a Three Circles chart if needed.
Audit your devices. Are any of them unrestricted? Be honest.
Build a preemptive check-in rhythm. Don’t wait until you’ve already failed.
Pick your people. Trustworthy accountability matters. Choose wisely.
Review after setbacks. Don’t waste a failure. Learn from it.
If you do relapse, grace isn’t canceled. But don’t waste the pain. Dissect it. Get curious. And use it to build something stronger next time.
Final Word
Relapse is rarely about lust. It’s about pain, disconnection, and a lack of a clear path forward. The more clarity you bring to your patterns, the more control you reclaim.
And if you want help building a custom plan, that’s what I do. Hit me up at rscky.com/getstarted,
You don’t need to stay stuck. You just need a plan.